Rain for My Med

The sky has decided to rain and what a beautiful background music for my med. today. I became mindful before my treadmill/Yoga workout today, so I used meditation in my workout and saw a few things I hadn't known were present before today. After the workout, I sat briefly for a med. I noted mostly sounds. I noticed one sound that was both pleasant and unpleasant. My birds were twittering and warbling and the sound was pleasant, but in the moment of me trying to concentrate, it was unpleasant and irritating. In the same moment, there was the sound of rain, and it was pleasant. I also experienced a lot of unpleasant body sensations. And always back to the breath: arising, passing. All phenonmenon fleeting.

Everywhere, Love

Was I the only one who saw this heart-shaped gift, placed lovingly by my secret lover's hands just outside the post office door today? Or so it seemed so perfectly placed, like a message from the heavens. I reached down to grasp it, tearing it a little in the middle as I did so. I brought it home and left it on the counter for my husband to see. When I remembered later and asked if he saw it, he fished it out of the garbage... I guess in reality it truly is just that: garbage - a parched, dead leaf. But what I see is something more - like love, ever present, even in death, even in 100 degree temperatures, even in trash. But that's just how I see it. I wonder if we fine tuned our sight, could we see more than just what we see with our eyes...

Meditate on the Hand

I've been trying this Zhine meditation where I focus on Buddha's hand and let thoughts pass without any noting. It hasn't been working for me very well. I'm so steeped in my old way of meditating, that it's very difficult for me to use another method. So today I am back to my old Vipassana way. I still need help with motivation. But that's where I am with my meditation in this moment. It's the truth of the way it is for me right now - I'm lacking motivation. It's not good, bad, or ugly. It just is. I see it. And I let it pass along with all the other phenonmenon arising and passing around me.